Subject: I liked it!
Author:
Posted on: 2019-10-12 07:36:00 UTC
(Trying to get better at reviewing)
The idea of a “mini-Balrog’s heir” is really funny. This isn’t really the style of mission I’m used to but I still quite enjoyed it, and I’m glad it was short and didn’t take too long to read.
It's only been a little over a month since I last published a mission; that's blisteringly fast for me these days. :)
There Is Another
In which obsolete technology and a mini-Balrog's heir make their appearances, and a Big Reveal is made which will Change The Face Of The Series FoReVeR!!! (or not)
I've taken the Author's Note as an opportunity to briefly discuss the process of writing the mission. It's probably a little overblown, but a few people have expressed interest, so I figured why not?
All comments, reviews, and concrit are welcome, but if you don't have the energy for that (I totally sympathise), just a note to say you're reading would be greatly appreciated. If for some reason you want to leave a more permanent review, the mission is also up on the Pit.
hS
I enjoyed this quite a lot. It was short but said what you wanted it to say and did what you wanted it to do. My favourite part, though, was the author's note at the end. It was a valuable insight into how you and Kaitlyn work as PPC authors, and it reminded me that there's always room for more storytelling in a given mission. =]
The reason this is a reviewish is that I don't have much more to say beyond that, sorry.
I was worried while writing the note that it was getting far too long (I think it's about a quarter of the wordcount of the mission itself), but as we all know, I'm abysmal at saying things concisely. I'm really glad it came out as something useful. And I'm glad you enjoyed the mission, too!
hS
But yeah, the A/N was good. Both of them were. The stuff about writing short pieces isn't necessarily helpful to me and my high-5-digit word count missions, but one point in particular - wanting to tell a specific story with your agents as well as spork a specific badfic - really made me think. I haven't quite been doing that with the PPC Power Hour; mostly it's been about analyzing certain tropes and clichés within PPC writing as a whole and trying to do interesting things with them, building the overarching storyline of the Oncoming Form into that, and then finding a fic to serve as... well, almost as set dressing for the rest of the story. Your comments got me to thinking about that approach, and I think my future writing will be all the better for it. =]
Fun treatment of the badfic! I like that the mini got to tag along for a bit, even though the mission was too short for him to have much fun. The tape recorder Sue was amusing. I've always imagined there's a split between the Sues that are openly malicious towards canon, like the ones the Factories make, and the Sues that just kind of . . . happen. And this Sue feels like the epitome of "just kind of happened." I love the quasi-exorcism at the end, as well, and what a spot-on song choice! Even not being from the actual book canon, it feels very, very appropriate. And I like when missions end on a note of canon returning over the badfic's influence, though I've probably said so before.
Oh, I like getting a bit more backstory and humanity for Kaitlyn! She always seems so wacky and cartoonish; it'll be nice to learn a bit more about her upbringing going forward. The reminder of Selene's clockwork Key was welcome, because I feel like I have a bad habit of forgetting it's there when I picture her in my mind's eye.
—doctorlit, signing a post on the new Board for the first time
I do feel a bit bad for not using Isildor more... hopefully Zaz (whoever Zaz may be) has some nice raw bacon for him when he gets home.
I actually found a claim somewhere (I think it was in one of the DIO missions) that most Suvians the PPC encounters are just what you're describing - natural ineptness given flesh. (Of course, the DIO Only Gets Factory Suvians, because they're So Special... [eyeroll]) I like to be gentle with that kind, even if I do wind up killing them to death.
I'm glad you liked hearing more about Kaitlyn's past - there's more of that to come, so Watch This Space.
(And as for the Key - same! I've never managed to adjust my mental image to include it, so I'm always missing it out!)
hS
... have been posted to the New Board, to stave off potential archive issues.
hS
I mean, what's unique about this mission (the TOS feel, the prologue and Suvian tapes, the well-handled character moments) have already been commented on by someone or another, so there's not really anything else for me to say. The discussion of your process at the end was helpful and overall this was a pleasant read. Good luck in keeping up with the pace!
And seriously, it's always good to hear people's thoughts, even if they echo someone else's. It helps to build a picture of what was generally good/bad, and what goes down to taste.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
hS
I absolutely loved this mission. I loved how it didn't quote the fic much, I loved how your characters interacted more with each other than the fic, and I loved how creative you were with writing that prologue and having the Sue be a cassette tape. Offering concrit at the end of the mission is an idea that I'm 100% going to steal for when I get Permission and start writing missions of my own.
This isn't just a fantastic example of a short mission, it's a great example of a PPC mission in general and why it's a different flavor of writing from just an MST. It's witty and funny, but heartfelt and offers great character development; the whole thing really did feel like a throwback to Jay and Acacia. Well done. I wish I had more to offer in terms of criticism, but I really can't find anything to criticize. Hopefully, glowing praise alone will suffice.
I'm always happy to be praised (^_~), but it's also good to remember that concrit doesn't have to be negative! You haven't just said 'cool story liked it' - you've explained what you liked, which means I can build on those aspects in later writings.
I'm glad you liked Agent Kaitlyn's concrit; I don't know how useful it is to the actual badfic authors (though as with several others, I've left this as a review on the fic), but I think it helps to promote the educational aspect of PPCing, even among ourselves. It's something I'd love to see take off a bit more, so go for it!
hS
It's the perfect antidote for that pretty heavy discussion back on the PPC Assassin thread.
I feel kind of sneaky with my timing here, actually - posting a mission right after everyone's going on about how quiet it is is a great way to get lots of reviews. ^_^
hS
... I got blocked from posting that for a few seconds because I'm only allowed to post once per minute.
PRE-EDIT: And this one, too! I type too fast for NewBoard. ^_^ (It's a good feature though, I amp't complaining.)
hS
This story really shone when it focused on Kaitlyn and Selene’s reactions to each other. Nice shoutout to Jay and Acacia—the mission definitely felt like a throwback to their missions. :) I loved the ending where the mini ate the tape recorders—I genuinely laughed out loud at that.
(Typo spotted: “Minas Minas Tirith gleaned around them”—I think that’s supposed to be “gleamed”?
“Are the flowers rapunzels, by any change?" Change-> chance?)
It's always a compliment to be compared to TOS, so double thank you for that. ^_^
Typos corrected (and I threw in the tweak I mentioned to Tomash too). It's always good to remember that just because something's published, doesn't mean it's carved in stone.
hS
In a small community like the PPC, just knowing that people are reading is valuable.
Of course, concrit is always welcome (as is uncritical praise, though that's less useful ^_^); if you're wanting to work on longer reviews, focus on saying not just that you liked or disliked a story, but on what specifically you liked/disliked, and why. That's what I (try to) do with Agent Kaitlyn's Concrit.
But just an acknowledgement that you read it is, as I say, brilliant to see!
hS
Behold as I enjoy the concept of the heir to a mini-Balrog even though I hardly ever laugh at missions anymore! Behold as I praise you for the creative ways you converted the fic's mistakes into amazing ideas, especially the bit about the tape recorder! Behold as you get your emotional impact and character development across even to readers who haven't read the rest of Driftwood! Behold as I realize I really need to read the entirety of Driftwood because it's good and short!
Seriously, you're amazing. Best way to get back into reading missions ever.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! One of the things I've tried to do with Driftwood is make the missions accessible even to people who haven't read any of the others, and it sounds like that worked.
hS
Replying to everything you've said would be a bit self-absorbed of me, but to highlight a couple of things:
-Selene is a Stokerverse vampire with the ability to summon storms (or usually bolt-out-of-the-blue lightning). Her eyes tend to glow fiery red when she does this.
-I'm glad you felt the agents had a strong arc; they were meant to! That was the thing I was most worried about while writing it, so I'm pleased it worked. :)
-The rapunzel thing... well, it's impossible to say whether the story was going there, because it doesn't go past the song. But I think I can make a small tweak to highlight the connection.
hS
(Trying to get better at reviewing)
The idea of a “mini-Balrog’s heir” is really funny. This isn’t really the style of mission I’m used to but I still quite enjoyed it, and I’m glad it was short and didn’t take too long to read.
As far as I'm concerned, any review is a good review. :)
I think playing around with the Isildor's heir concept could have been pretty fun, but I chose to take a different route. That does leave the gag open for next time someone makes that typo (they will, they will...).
Glad you enjoyed it!
hS
The behind-the-scenes look was quite interesting.
I do love the tape recorder. It just... amuses me. Right idea, right place, right person. /shrug.
It's just a nice, satisfying short. Not a lot to say because I feel like it hits all the right notes.
I admit to being slightly worried that going 'nothing to kill here' with the tape player wouldn't go down too well, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
hS
I have no context for the 'Lan'/A.G. message, but the reaction to it (and Selene briefly questioning Kaitlyn's memory even more) was funny.
And I'm not sure how I'd have taken to being an anything of 'carry witchets' either. XD
Songfic is definitely a classic! Can't recall offhand any incidents where quoting a whole song ever goes well, oddly enough. Usually it's just a few lyrics, to show a character having fun.
Aaaand there's the shoe dropping. Oh, Kaitlyn... ;;
Very nice mood swap once they talk things out, though! Gotta embarrass the Agent with a Lust Object, after all~
And it turns out 'a character having fun' is basically what happens in the end, so go me!
Thank you for writing, and for the backstage-context. :)